Hi there Sage Brush Homesteading fans,
It was a difficult week on the homestead. As those of you following me know, my sweet Golden Retriever Logan had a nasty insidious form of cancer known as hemangiosarcoma, the number one killer of Goldens. A horrible cancer that isn’t known until the first change is noticed in your dog and at that point it’s advanced and too late. It hadn’t presented it’s ugly self until three weeks ago when I noticed that my normally stocky, healthy, bouncy, running pup was not himself. It’s been a rough few weeks for us, especially me since I’ve had him since he was actually born and we made a deal with each other that he would live longer than nine years. Sadly Logan had no control over what took over his loving body. It’s with great sadness that I share with you his passing Thursday evening. Needless to say my heart is extremely broken and this has been a very difficult time for me and the reason for the lack of posts. If you’re easily upset, perhaps you won’t read further. But this is a tribute of sorts to my fur baby who gave me his all.
Giving it his all
Logan did his best to stay with us, never wanting to let us see or know what was truly going on inside his precious body. I made a promise to him that with all he had given me for the short nine and a half years we had together, that I would not allow him to suffer. On Tuesday he finally gave me the look, you pet owners know the one I’m talking about…the one that says “I’m tired and don’t want to leave you but I can’t go on, please help me”. The look that tears your heart out but you know it’s best for the loving pet that’s given you his all. Logans’ breathing was getting worse and I contacted my vet, unfortunately they were out of town, but I did have the name of a local vet who comes to the house. I vowed I would never again take my beloved pet out of their home for this. Logan was the type of dog..well being a Golden too…who enjoyed the vet, why? Well because typical of him it was “all about me”. He loved the attention and seeing people. I always said Logan was a people person, there could be a bunch of other dogs around and he enjoyed going over to their owners more than being with the other dogs! But after going through this three other times over the years, I learned…not to mention the horrible experience a terrible vet back east put us through…um…yes sadly nine and a half years ago, which is why this was even a worse time for me!
After contacting and speaking with the vet, who was so compassionate, understanding and above all helpful, I told her I was giving it one more day hoping that Logan would go in his sleep and I wouldn’t have to do this. She said “I’m here when you need me”.
On Thursday morning, for some unknown reason…perhaps God was giving me the sign I asked for, the one asking for His guidance in what to do, to make the right decision and do right by my trusty, loyal bestie. I learned more that morning of this most horrible disease and just what was going on with my baby and it was then that I made the call to my vet saying it was time. That morning was harder for Logan than the others, he was definitely letting me know he couldn’t go on. We had a lot of long talks over the weeks and the ones on Thursday were full of understandings from both of us. He didn’t want me to be sad and leave me, but he just couldn’t go on anymore and truly, this was not the way he lived his life. Wednesday he walked as much as he could and would just stand or lay down and look around, sniff and take in all of his surroundings. The home and farm he loved so much, his “siblings” and all the other farm critters. But I could see in his eyes how he wanted so much to run and be with them all but just couldn’t.
The vets came to our home that evening and I cannot say enough about them! The time they gave us, the compassion, calmness, kindness…understanding above all else. They made the most horrible thing “better” for lack of a better word. Understanding my last experience and being doubly cautious and knowledgable.
Crossing the Rainbow Bridge
Logan went very peacefully and gently in my arms, in the home that he loved with the people he loved. His suffering was over, he had crossed the rainbow bridge and was now up there with his cousins in a new healthy body running and playing…It was a couple of hours and the vets stayed with us as I just held my baby just not wanting to let him go but knowing, as he did that I did the right thing by him. He never once in all of his life caused me pain or suffering and I wasn’t going to do that to him. We had an unconditional love between us.
I have to say this, when I looked at him all wrapped in his warm blankie that his face had that happy, sweet, peaceful puppy look that I remember the day I picked him up from my breeder. It’s a look I’ll never forget but while my heart was broken, it melted it and I said just that. Logan’s final resting place is on the farm he loves, the one he loved just enjoying to the fullest! The one where he enjoyed living a richly fulfilled dogs life and where so many times he loved running in tall grass, rolling in dirt and saying “look I’m a dirty farm dog”. He wasn’t a dog that would lay in the sun, no he loved the shade and is under a big tree that overlooks all of his beloved farm. No doubt, this dog lived an amazing life and for that I will be forever grateful and thankful for! He loved camping and I thank God that he got to go and enjoy five days over the Memorial Day weekend, and boy he gave it his all! I knew in my heart it would be his last trip and just savored every second of it with him. The last three weeks, every morning I woke up to him was a gift.
While I normally post photos from the week …those perfect moments…I want to give the post to Logan, as always …..it’s all about him!
You lived a wonderful happy dogs life. You gave me ALL of you for 9-1/2 short years. You’ve been in my life since the night you were born and I fell in love with you then. I will always remember you as a happy, floppy lovable boy who thought “everyone comes to see me”. You were with me though a lot of stuff with the last five years being the best ever. Your “dad” fell for you the moment he met you and you became his buddy as well. We’re so happy you got to enjoy time with your cousin Yaegar when him and Lindsay Vitillo came here last fall. We’ll always cherish you and Yaegs playing around like you did when you both lived back east. Your life was sadly cut short by a horrible insidious cancer but til the end you wanted to hang in, finally letting me know it was time to let you cross the rainbow bridge. You’re forever in our hearts and there’s a huge void for me. Yesterday, June 6 I lost my beloved Golden, Logan. One thing I have to do is give a huge THANK YOU to the 3 gals who made a really horrible ordeal better and more comfortable for everyone, including Logan. Dr Shaw of Happy Pet Vet, Dr Wilson of Klamath Animal Clinic and please forgive me for not remembering the other gal who came and assisted, my head was up my butt last night, but you know who you are…Dr Shaw unfortunately was very sick and couldn’t come to our home, but did everything she could from her bed to get her partners to me. Dr Wilson and her friend were extremely calm, comforting and did everything they could for us. Staying here for hours and helping. Those of you back east who remember when Logan was born and I got him know the happiness and unconditional love he brought to my life. He is sadly missed but forever in my heart and is now happily and healthfully running with all his cousins and friends, one day he’ll stop….and run into my arms! I love you so much Logan and you’re so missed.
Edgecombe’s New Hope Diamond Logan You forever live in my heart and of those that loved you as well.
As always…keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to! If you enjoyed this post, please follow, share with others who you think would enjoy or benefit from it and sign up so you don’t miss a thing and also for my weekly newsletter. Have an Outstanding Day!